Roommates=best mates

G'Day mates-

No blogs since Aug!? Slackerness... Today I will blog about my roommates because sometimes you need to vent... other times you need to laugh. Hardy har har.

Roommate #1: Liisa

Liisa (the two eyes in her name is not a typo, nor are the double set on her face) is from Finland, although often she does not Finish putting things back in there places. Get it? Liisa sometimes enjoys alcoholic beverages. Drinking= finding things misplaced. For instance: shoes in the refrigerator, olive oil in the bathroom, and open humus dip container on my sister's brand new, wedding gift, grillion dollar, bedspread. She denies that this happens.

Liisa also has an absence of "stranger danger". She befriends people of all walks of life while intoxicated... This can be dangerous. One time she invited some men into our hotel room in LA. They identified themselves as Taliban. I am not fooling around. We had private security stationed outside our suite the rest of our trip. Yikes

Roommate #2: Hazel

Hazel also drinks often... This week we were at a bar and I squeezed a random man's bottom. When he turned around, I pointed at Hazel and made a "yikes" face indicating it was her. They have a date next week. Matchmaker Molly.

Hazel also likes to befriend people (although she does not bring them home). We often go to Mr. Pizza Mans for late night snacks. Hazel in a drunken haze gave her number to the pizza store employee. His name happens to be Carlos Santana. Not THE Carlos Santana, although he frequently leaves her voicemails serenading her while playing guitar. This is a hilarious coincidence.

More to come later...

My life rules. It would be better if Meagan was here.

egad

OH WHEW. For a second I thought I'd come on here last night and posted some serious stupid shit on Ambien. I imagined the whole thing.

Do you know anyone who sings? My bassist quit and took his girlfriend/lead singer with him and now we've gotta find a singer. Hooray for total bullshit.

Lost without you...

For all you Lost fans:

I recently wrote an essay for my Classical Mythology class. I compared Desmond Hume from Lost to Odysseus from Homer's classic The Odyssey. I got a 97% on it and I even snuck in a few jokes. Check it out if you are so inclined:

Hero: It's more than a sandwich!

by Molly Torrence

Imagine being stuck on an island for year after year unable to return to your loved ones. As the years pass you experience an incessant inner conflict. This internal battle challenges your reason for living. Should I take my own life, or press on? Both Homer's classic tale, Odyssey, and ABC's hit television show, Lost, share similar "return home stories". Odysseus protagonist from the Odyssey, is a strategist who relies on his wit, a leader who commands troops, and a true hero in the eyes of the ancient Greeks. Desmond Hume, a character in Lost, is a man who stays true to his heart, fights for honor, and "will do anything for love" (Meatloaf, Bat out of Hell: II). The two characters were written 2,500 years apart but their separate journeys share parallel tribulations.

The Odyssey was written in antiquity and shows Odysseus as an epic hero in accordance with the heroic notion in ancient Greek society. Lost has a contemporary take on heroism. Desmond Hume achieves hero status through means that were similar as well as different from those of Odysseus. Though many centuries separate them, both share heroic qualities such as a capacity for love, and the pain one encounters on his respective journey. Love and pain are timeless qualities. While Desmond Hume is portrayed as a modern day hero, he also has a history of cowardice. Eventually he is able to achieve hero status by his quest for honor.

Residing on an island in the sun may sound appealing to some. However, Odysseus' and Desmond's experiences could not be described as a holiday. Odysseus languished on an island, detained against his will by a nymph named Calypso. There was no way for him to get back to his land (Odyssey, Book 5, 15-17). He was stuck on this island with Calypso for seven years spending most of his time longing to return to his family in Ithaca. Odysseus said, "I want to go back. My heart aches for the day I return to my home" (Odyssey, Book 5, 219-220). There is an analogous relationship between Odysseus' and Desmond Hume's characters. In the episode "Live Together, Die Alone" on season two of Lost, Desmond becomes shipwrecked on an island while racing his boat around the world. He is rescued by a man named Calvin in a yellow quarantine jumpsuit. Desmond is taken to an underground science lab (hatch) where he has to push a button every 108 minutes to "save the world". He is forced to do this for three years with no hope of returning to his home and loved ones. Both characters experience tremendous suffering (which is an ancient Greek Heroic trait) because they are confined to an island with no way out and no end in sight.

Another parallel calamity that both Odysseus and Desmond share are that both characters find themselves astray multiple times. In the Odyssey, Odysseus comes to the island of Aeolia and is given a gift bag from Aeolus, "In this bag he bound the wild winds' ways" (Odyssey, Book 10, 26). With the unruly winds contained Odysseus could sail home safely. The plan is sabotaged when Odysseus' men peek into the bag while he sleeps and let the winds escape. This leads their ship to drift back to Aeolia, far from their homeland in Ithaca. I think Odysseus experiences tension between two conflicting ideals (another heroic trait in antiquity). To chose death or mortal life. Odysseus states, "When I woke up and saw what had happened I thought long and hard about whether I should just go over the side and end it all in the sea, or endure in silence and remain among the living. In the end I decided to bear it and live" (Odyssey, Book 10, 56-60). The television series Lost portrays the same heroic trait.

Desmond has the conflicting choice between living or drinking himself to death. After three years in the “hatch” he stumbles upon several plane crash victims on the deserted island. He convinces one of these survivors to press the button in his stead. This enabled Desmond to escape. He sails for Fiji, and after two and a half weeks he finds himself on the same island he was trying to flee. Where upon he is confronted by plane crash survivor Jack who asked him why he had returned. Desmond replied, "You think I did it on purpose?... You know why? Because this is all there is left. This ocean and this place here, we are stuck in a bloody snow globe. There's no outside wall, there's no escape. So just go away and let me drink" (Lost, Season Two, Episode 23). Later in the episode he is holding a gun contemplating suicide. Like Odysseus, he chooses life.

An obvious connection between the heroic Odysseus and Desmond is their capacity for love. The hero's main squeeze in both of the tales share the same name, Penelope. In Odysseus' case, he rejects the divine Calypso's offer to stay with her and occupy the island. She promises to reward him with immortality. In an attempt to persuade Odysseus, Calypso says, "Think of it, Odysseus!- No matter how much you miss your wife and wanted to see her again. You spend all your daylight hours yearning for her. I don't mind saying she's not my equal in beauty, no matter how you measure it." Odysseus responds to her rhetoric with, "I know very well that Penelope, for all her virtues, would pale beside you... Still I want to go back. My heart aches for the day I return to my home" (Odyssey, Book 5, 208-220). Odysseus' love for Penelope thrives although he has been away from his wife for 17 years. Like the ancient Greeks, modern day society values the capacity for love as a staple heroic trait.

Desmond enters a sail boat race around the world that is sponsored by Penelope's father, Charles Widmore. He is trying to attain honor through victory in this race. Attainment of this honor is to be had via competition. This is the same as the ancient Greek notion of honor. If he wins, he will appear favorable to Penny's father. Desmond encounters a boat owner named Elizabeth in a coffee shop. When Elizabeth asks why Desmond wants to go on this trip he responds, "He (Charles Widmore) tried to buy me off and when I didn't take his money, he took away the only thing in the world that I ever truly cared about." Elizabeth asks, "Who is she?" Despond replies. "His daughter. I was unsuitable on several levels." Elizabeth is moved by his story and agrees to give him her deceased husband's boat. Desmond thanks her with, "I shall win this race for love" (Lost, Season 2, Episode 24). Throughout the television series, Desmond's main focus is getting home to his great love, Penelope. This shows the modern value of love and sacrifices one would make to achieve it. The capacity for love is a virtuous heroic trait that has lasted throughout history

Given the sheer volume of the Lost catalog (approximately one hundred and twenty hours) it would be impossible to highlight all the similarities and differences between Odysseus and Desmond Hume in one essay. I think the best example of a heroic quality (according to the ancient Greeks) that Desmond lacks is the "one bad ass warrior" trait. Odysseus attained this through his wit and skill in battle and not necessarily through super human feats of strength. For instance, Odysseus defeats a Cyclopes through witty wordplay. The Cyclopes, Polyphemus, traps Odysseus and his crew in a cave and consumes several of them. Odysseus strikes up a conversation with Polyphemus. When asked his name, Odysseus deceitfully tells him it's "Noman." Odysseus blinds the cannibalistic Cyclopes for eating his shipmates. Other Cyclopes in town hear screams coming from the cave and come to rescue Polyphemus. They call out to him asking if he needs assistance. Polyphemus cries, "Noman is killing me by some kind of trick!" The other Cyclopes respond, "If no man is hurting you, then your sickness comes from Zeus and can't be helped" (Odyssey, Book 9, 407-410). The polar opposite example is Desmond's character. Before setting sail on the boat race, Desmond was dishonorably discharged from the Royal Army. Desmond represents a cowardly character in battle and warfare. Although he is not a skilled warrior, this does not change the fact that he is a respected hero on modern day television.

There has been a subtle shift in the characteristics of a hero from the ancient Greek times until today. Certain heroic traits are different than those in modern day. For example, in antiquity a hero was a warrior, someone of noble birth who often finds women to be temptresses. Although Odysseus longs to be with his wife Penelope, he acts unfaithfully several times in the story. On Lost, a contemporary television show, I think if Desmond had strayed from Penny on the show he would have been viewed unfavorably by modern day ethical standards. Resisting the temptation of infidelity would be a heroic ideal today. In ancient Greece, infidelity by males was acceptable. Whereas today this would be met with disapproval. This change shows that the bias toward men since Homer's time has greatly decreased. Further, male philanders are viewed negatively in modern society. In regards to divine lineage, Odysseus is related to the God Hermes. By contrast, Desmond's ancestry is not a factor in the story. He is your average Joe. Class and social standing was very important in ancient Greece. Conversely, western civilization embraces the ideal that egalitarian ideal that all men are created equal. I think the shifting definition of a hero arises from today's society which allows that any man can become a hero. We are taught to follow our dreams. For example, with perseverance and tenacity you can succeed. Modern day Americans embrace freedom as one of it's quintessential benefits. Self determination and the freedom to mold your own future is a cornerstone of contemporary society. This has changed dramatically since Homer wrote the Odyssey. Children of these modern times have more options and encouragement than was available in ancient Greek society.

Both Odysseus and Desmond return home safely. Desmond and Odysseus are reunited with their great loves. The heroes are of different eras and yet their stories are very similar. It is apparent that ethical changes have been made since the time of the ancient Greeks. While most of Odysseus' heroic qualities still compare well with today's value system, they were limited. By contrast Desmond Hume in Lost is a current hero of the common man. Considering an island getaway? Channel these two great characters and have an adventure.

Don't drink and... interview!?

Yikes!

Mash potatoes

Current text convo with Meagan:

Meagan: I'm at a fucking ska show. Hahaha fart noise

Molly: Pfffft. Pick it up

Meagan: Pbblttt two-tone bullshit

Molly: Fuck that noise

Meagan: If it was physically possible, I would. And not give it cab fare. I would straight disrespect it and send it packin

Molly: Hahahaha that is soo amazing. That's why I love you

Meagan: INDEED! I just realized that if I got married again I want all my friends' bands to play it instead of anything else. Party city!

Molly: Haha can I sing something?

Meagan: Yes! Especially if I get married not in december, You can sing any Christmas song you like

Molly: Hahaha yes! Or a spooky Halloween song

Meagan: Yes!

Molly: Monster Mash maybe? I could break it down and do a remix. Bicky Bicky

Meagan: God yes. That's fucking perfect.

Molly: They did the mash. Break it down

Meagan: They did the Monster Mash. Break it. Break it. It was a big ol' bash.

Molly: Graveyard sm sm sm sm sm smassshhh

Meagan: Hahahaha

Molly: I can bust a move I promise you.

Tucson texts Long Beach

A completely normal text conversation between me and my sister:

Meagan: Tucson is hotter than bigfoot's balls.

Amanda: You would know

M: Only from reading your diaries

A: Which you actually ghost write for me

M: Based on your life story

A: Which I copied after seeing that documentary about you and bigfoot

M: Which I only acted in because I knew you were too shameful to go through that again

A: Which is the story we swore to always tell after you had bigfoot's baby and are keeping in your closet

M: Yes the child that you had asked me please please to be the surrogate mother for because you didn't want jon to know of the bigfoot affair

A: Right, the surrogate/affair situation we concocted and convinced you of through intense long-term hypnotherapy. Weird that you still remember his balls tho

M: You've created something so elaborate. Oh if only you hadn't done all that acid in the woods, when you met bigfoot, you'd remember the truth.

A: I do remember when you were eating all those shrums and running away with bigfoot you kept telling me I was "trippin" ... Sad, really

M: I only ate the shrooms to escape the last image I had of you taking bigfoot's hand and singing reunited with him

A: I can totally imagine you wanting to take the edge off your paranoid schizophrenic hallucinations that include visualizing yourself 3rd person, looking like me...

ten minutes later...

A: I have to study for my sociology final, bigfoot lover

Blogging Molly

First things first... I am in southern Ca and Meagan is not. That is a big ol' FAIL!

With that said... I drove down to see my family this weekend for my grandma's 86th birthday. My sister and her fiance (Leigh) are also in town. These are the weekend highlights:

Day 1: Kim, Leigh and I had some drinks while we waited for my folks to get home. We planned on creating a dance routine for my grandma's birthday (inspired by a Cosby Show episode) but we were sidetrack by this addictive urban twist on the electric slide called the cupid shuffle. My mom came home and we poured her some wine and taught her the cupid shuffle. Leigh video taped us while we embarrassed ourselves. Dad got home late from his softball game. When he arrived home we sat him down in the living room and proceeded to do a family dance for him (drink in hand). What!? This is not normal family behavior.

Things began to get a bit weird. Just as the alcohol began to impair our judgement, karaoke was mentioned. We discovered that the neighborhood mexican restaurant/bar had karaoke! We immediately headed over. The bar was filled with young drunk folks singing Kid Rock songs. Fast forward a few drinks later... my entire family was on the stage performing "Date Rape" by sublime. Really!? Yeah... it was crazy. Mom, Dad, Leigh, Kim, me, and some strange dude we met at the bar... all sharing the stage to sing the controversial song. (this was after my sister's future husband did a surprise performance of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart). I was given a bouquet of flowers at the bar from a "secret admirer" who was supposed to reveal himself later... He never did. We used a rose to give to a lady that did an exceptionally good performances of a Scorpions song.

Day 2: Grandma decides she wants to go to the Indian Casino for her birthday. (Meagan, I looked for the antique roadshow slot to play for you... but I could not find one) The funniest part of the day was when Leigh, Kim and I decided to play blackjack. We selected a table that was empty. After we sit down, we noticed our blackjack dealer was CRYING!!! She was sniffling and wiping her eyes. Awkwarddddd. We didn't want to get up and leave because it would be rude. Leigh tried to cheer her up. When he would ask her a question, she would reply with a sad sniffle voice and pouty face. To make matters worse/awesome all three of us won money from her.

It is now day 3... Nothing crazy has happened yet but I still have another hour before I head home.

Miss you, Meagan!

Oh and I forgot to add that my sister invited Obama to her wedding... He cannot make it but he sent a card wishing them their best from him and Michelle.

Party City, USA

Meagan is sitting next to me right this second...

I will pull pranks on her. I am currently calling her... She is so confused. I am listed in her phone as: Molly Fuck Security.

Last night we rocked out to jams such as: Kiss by a Rose by Seal, This is how we do it by Montell Jordan, Peaches and Cream by 112, The End of the Road by Boys II Men, and You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon (throwing in a little flava).

Now she is creating her own crossword puzzle for her boyfriend while her band watches Half Baked.

I will stare at her until she notices... it took aprox twelve seconds for her to notice (I counted in my head).

This is what bffs do while on the same coast/state/ROOM!

THE END

So ready to dice

Molly. You're gone in a faraway land and have left me in California AGAIN. This makes us dual-continent BFFs. Transatlantic BFFs. Transoceanic BFFs if you wanna get "Lost" about it, which, you know I'm down...except for this latest episode...which you probably haven't seen, since you've been roaming around Rome and spinning through Spain or some other gay-ish alliterate word with Spain. This makes us worldwide BFFs. Multi-cultural BFFs. Once again, we've only established that we're better at being best friends no matter the mileage between us than the best of 'em. Better than the Best BFFs.

I'm so ready to leave southern California soon, so when you get back, I'm planning a weekend escape.

In other news, I've planted a telephone tapping device on my blind man's phone - at his request, no I am not bugging my own blind boss...wtf would I do that for?? - and this is my job. I doubt seriously that I am really developing any real life skills so much as just learning how to be PATIENT AS FUCK for hours a day. I've grown skillful at participating fully in conversations at the same time as reading facebook updates, silly cartoons, NPR articles...

I have actually decided that I'm going to start a booze project at work. It's simple: drink at work. He won't see the bottles, and I won't be drinking hard stuff for him to sniff out. But I think being buzzed all day is far better than not.

COME BACK FROM EUROPE. SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME?

Project Mysterio part deux

I found this pictures of my pals and I waiting for the paperboy ninja and I thought I should post them. The pics were taken 8 years ago, crazy!

Enjoy!

Project: Cute

I have decided to finally post pictures on a project I undertook in December. I built a bear out of wood. Allow me to illustrate.

Here we see the bear as he existed in paper form. This is just regular copier paper taped together. My model. I had this dream of making such a creature...and the bottom of his body would have a rectangular hole cut into it, through which a cable could be run. The original idea was to make this bear an iPhone or iPod dock for charging. Rad, right? I thought so, but it turned out I didn't have the time for that, but it can easily be done.

Next I began to draw the shapes onto a couple pieces of 1/4" wood.


I used this fun saw to make all the cuts.







Next I began to glue the finished pieces together, after I'd sanded them and beveled them off to fit together "correctly." They definitely did not match the measurements right so I decided it would be an art-wrong project. Those are his two legs standing up and the clamp is holding an arm in place while drying.
Here's a look at what the bottom of his body, four sides, and connecting sides looked like pre-gluing. I liked it. Nothing fit together right, as pretty as it looks. I don't care, though.
I Used mis-matched buttons for extra cuteness for his eyes, and layered pieces of the wood for density on his nose, arms and legs. Here his head is drying to the top of his body. It is so cute. Look at his fucking cute ears.
Here his body is starting to take shape in my messy workspace. You want one of these. I know.
On his backside, I cut old pieces of canvas curtain and made faux-stitching because I'm a big fan of it. Stitching wood? What is cuter than that?
I even put felt on the bottom of his feet because felt is adorable!


And here he is as a finished, glued and dried product, complete with hinges and doorknob on his belly, arms swinging and legs offset in swagger fashion. Hell yeah, bear. I call him "Robert," pronounced in the French manner: "robear." Fuck yeah, French. Cute.















And here, with his belly door open. I love him.
The end.

Lost in Illinois, The Cone Game

It is not a solo project, ahem, Molly. I am just retarded. It's that simple!

I am sitting in Effingham, Illinois. Effingham. If you pronounce like the the British pronounce their -ham cities, you are definitely saying "effing 'em" and I like that. Eff 'em in Effingham. I ate munch at the Steak n' Shake, who makes the skinniest french fries I've ever seen and I loved them.

And I watched Lost. So of course I am happy-ish.

So far this tour has been nothing along the lines of rad. I have drank much less than ever before, have smoked slightly less cigarettes, and have eaten much crap. Also the shows are sucking. Who cares, it's freezing outside and our bus has no heat, what am I complaining about? Two weeks left.

So Molly had her ProjectMysterio. We had nothing much of mystery in high school or after. I am jealous of your fun. The only stupid thing that lasted long enough that I was involved in, was the stealing and housing of construction site items. Mostly we stole cones, but graduated to sandwich board road blocks (with blinking lights for extra points), blueprints left at construction sites (big find at my high school, when they were remodeling - of course this was years after graduation) and really any other city property easily jacked. We were to keep them at our own houses and tabulate points based on the item and from where it was nabbed.

I remember when finally one day my mom opened the side gate of our house to discover a massive pile of cones and other road objects sitting there. It was indeed a bad afternoon. I lost the contest, needless to say.

I believe a summit needs to occur between the Molly and the Meagan. Soon enough.

Project Mysterio

I'm beginning to think this blog is a solo project... Ahem (Meagan)

It is time I told you about Project Mysterio... Are you ready? I went to high school in one of the safest cities in the nation. It was a rather boring place to spend my rebellious teen years. One evening my pal Christopher Patterson told me an amazing story...

Chris's girlfriend (now wife), Laura, was dropping him off at his parent's house. They sat in their car chatting outside the house for a bit before Chris went inside. It was almost 1am. They were interrupted when a car came speeding up the residential street around 50mph with its hazard lights flashing and high beams lighting up the road. The speeding car made a quick u-turn, threw something out the passenger window, and sped off into the distance. Chris and Laura were alarmed. This was a quiet safe neighborhood... Who could that mysterious man be and what did he throw out the window!? Chris decided to investigate. He approached the item slowly. He burst out in laughter. It was a Wall Street Journal!

Chris and Laura experienced this same event a few more times the following week. Who was this crazed paper boy? Why was he speeding up the street in the middle of the night like a madman!?

A few months had past and Chris hadn't seen the paper boy. He had almost forgotten about his existence. Then it happened. Chris was outside late with his best friend Joey when a car came barreling down the road. Chris and Joey decided to follow this mysterious paper boy in their car to see what he was all about. They quickly lost him. Chris and Joey decided to experiment. What would happen if they changed up the paper boy's perfectly planned routine!? They had to know.

The next night Chris and Joey armed with foam batacas and masks decided to wait for the mysterious paper boy. They hoped he would stop for a brief moment so they could inquire as to why he drove the way he did and how he achieved such a level of mystery. Joey and Chris hid in the bushes awaiting Mysterio's arrival. Once the madman came charging up the street and did his u-turn the boys did shoulder rolls into the road and started waving the foam bats around erratically making noises. Mysterio did not stop. In fact he stepped on the gas and speed right for the boys. They jumped out of the way. Wondereding to themselves, Why did he not stop? Neither Chris nor Joey caught a glimpse of Mysterio's face. He was wearing a black hooded sweatshirt with his hood up hiding his identity.

Chris and Joey would not give up. They called in some friends to help. We called it Project Mysterio. Our goal was to find out what Mysterio was all about. We just wanted him to stop and talk to us 1 time. We began our mission.

About 6 or so people (I think they included; Me, Laura, Chris, Joey, April, and my sister Kim) waited at the top of the street for Mysterio. We set up trash cans across the road blocking the path where Mysterio made his u-turn and we waited. He came flying down the street at 12:30 just as Chris had described him. Hood up, windows down, hazard lights flashing, and at an impressive speeed. The trash cans did not even phase this man. He drove right through them, made his perfect u-turn, and sped off.

For months we tried different ways to stop Mysterio. Valentine's Day we bought him a giant heart box full of chocolates and included a card addressed to: Mysterio. That evening when he drove up the street we managed to throw it into one of his rolled down windows. He did not stop but it was our best achievement yet. Chris manufactured a line of Project Mysterio hoodies which we wore waiting for the masked man. A member of the press inquired about Project Mysterio. They were considering doing a news story on the event.

Tons of kids gathered nightly. We memorized the days and times he delivered the paper. This was the greatest thing to happen in our small town in a very long time.

One night, to our great disappointment, a car came quietly up the road and delivered a Wall Street Journal to the neighbors and puttered off. What was that!? It was not Mysterio! He had changed his route. We were devastated. It did not take us long to discover Mysterio's new route and we were back to our shenanigans in no time.

The last night (which I wasn't present for and I kick myself about it every day) Mysterio finally stopped! The car came to a halt. Mysterio steps outside his vehicle and takes down his hood revealing his identity. He was a small hispanic man. He asked why we kept bothering him? He seemed concerned, almost frightened. That is when we learned that Mysterio wasn't as Mysterious as we hoped.

We grew up, some of us got married, and some of us moved away... But the story of Mysterio never died. You can check it out on this site:

www.projectmysterio.com

The site includes merchandise, Mysterio encounters, and an online game where you can throw batacas at newspapers flying out of a speeding car window.

2nd part-y

I am currently sporting my Owl City onesie that my sister purchased for me as a birthday present. This is the photo of the onesie from the merchandise website:

As you can see... No photo of the back side was featured. Just a picture of the graphic. To my surprise (and actual delight) these wondrous feet pajamas have a butt flap. A trap door that velcros on the behind to make it easier to pee. Although occasionally it can be drafty and slightly awkward to wear around company.

Catch my drift!? hahaha

Ok here goes part 2 of my road trip across the U.S....

Our next stop was Roswell, NM. Roswell is famous for a supposed UFO crash in 1947. People come from all over the world to see the site of the crash and visit the UFO museum. Lindsay and I were far from impressed by the UFO museum... It consisted mostly of newspaper articles laminated and displayed on boards.

See??? Yikes! We did however find treasures in the nearby gift shops... My favorite was a bumper sticker with a picture of a UFO and it says: "Ship happens" hahaha Sooo good!

We drove through NM and spent the night just outside of Tucson, AZ.

The next morning we had a car incident. A piece of plastic from my undercarriage had split and was dragging on the ground. We were only 5 hours from home and we were determined to make it on schedule. I have an obsession with time management. A kind man at the gas station fixed us up with some duct tape and love. Thank you young man. I think you are awesome.

We stopped at a casino and played the nickel slot machines. I searched for "Antique Roadshow" which is Meagan's favorite game to no avail I might add. We settled on some fun looking machines. Lindsay put in $1 and came home with $7! I put in a $20 and left with $50. Big winners. Now I can pay to have my ferrari fixed...

Next stop... Cabazon, CA to see the dinosaurs featured in the Pee Wee's Big Adventure movie. I thought it would be a neat little place to walk the dog and take a pic or two. Little did I know... It was a mini dinosaur exhibit! They had mechanical dinos that would roar. You could climb up a bunch of stairs and actually look at the world through T-Rex's mouth. It was beyond fantastic! The biggest win of all was the gift shop. They had a robotic dinosaur that you could ride for $3. Obviously I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that!

I purchased Meagan's Christmas present in this gift shop. A little backpack full of clay so she could make her own dino and become part of the adventure.

We then reached our destination. Claremont, CA where I dropped off Sharky with Meagan. She baby sat him for several days. (Now that's a good woman!) I spent an hour or so at a bar shaped like a castle having some drinks with Lindsay and Meagan before heading to my parent's house. Fun times were had.

Road tryptophan

Happy New Year!

(Nice crop)

First off... Congrats to Meagan! Her band Chase Long Beach will be performing at Bamboozle Left AND some of the Warped Tour. Way to go, bff!

Second- We are no longer bicoastal bffs... We happen to reside not only the same coast but in the same state! It's a wonderful thing. I am now located in lovely San Francisco. So far I am discovering that San Francisco is a cleaner, safer, and better smelling version of New York City. Pretty stoked on it.

(I currently have a space heater pointed directly at my legs... I keep it on high until my legs start to feel like they are burning and begin to have red splotches... When it's on low it will occasionally make a soft humming sound. Sometimes that takes my dog Sharky by surprise and he jumps a mile... Ohhhh the entertainment!)

My road trip from Atlanta to the Bay Area was pretty glorious. I traveled with my buddy Lindsay... She spent Christmas with her family in Birmingham, AL, so I picked her up there...

From Bham we drove through Mississippi and then to Memphis, TN. We made a stop at Graceland to give our sore butts a break from the long ride (wait that sounds dirty...) and to see what the hype was about...

Graceland is on Elvis Presely blvd which is a longgg street full of graffitied ghettos and then BLAM... Smack in the middle is a mansion. It was not what I expected. Probably the funniest moment was when the shuttle took us to the front door

and we were greeted by a Graceland employee... He began to give us instructions and a brief history of GL before we entered. He beagn: "Welcome to Graceland. The home of Elvis as of..." he paused and chuckled. We just stared at him waiting for him to continue... He begins again, "The home of Elvis from 1957 to.... hehehe" Ummm what!?! This time we giggle too in effort to make him feel more comfortable. He continues, "Ok wait... This is Graceland. Elvis purchased it in 1957... The founder of umm..." You get the point. This went on for nearly 15 minutes. I am convinced the guy was under the influence of... something. They provided us with headsets so we could listen to an audio tour. When we pressed play it said "Welcome to Graceland. The home of Elvis Presley. Elvis purchased the property in 1957." Wait a second... So the guy outside told us exactly what was on the tape!? Looking back I'm not even sure if he was supposed to tell us anything more than, "Step to your right and press the play button on your headset." Pretty funny.

That night we drove through Arkansas and Kansas. The next morning we awoke to snow! We had planned to visit the childhood home of the music group Hanson the next day (yes, MMMBop). We did not expect the snow to be quite as bad as it was. It was a dangerous ride. A car almost crashed into us, my windshield was covered in ice, and we had to drive 10 miles an hour off the freeway. We arrive on the street that takes us up to the Hanson area. Halfway up we realized the car will not drive up the enormous hill:

But I am determined! We did not drive 2 hours out of the way (Tulsa, OK) to turn back when we are THAT close! So I parked the car on the side of the road and made Lindsay, Sharky, and myself walk a bit over a half a mile in snow to the house. Lindsay was in high heel black boots. She was slipping and sliding. Somehow we made it... We even snapped a couple photos before feeling entirely too creepy and raced back to the car. (Well I raced and Lindsay took baby steps. I warmed the car up for her. haha)

We then went to the site of the Oklahoma City Bombing (no funny stories to tell there... yikes).

Continued through Texas and New Mexico.

When we reached New Mexico we discovered a little town called Clovis. We were sick of driving for the day so we decided to get a hotel. We asked a woman working at a taco stand where we could go enjoy a drink. Well it was Sunday. They do not sell liquor in NM on Sundays. Not at the store or a bar! With two exceptions... Applebee's and Chili's. (and those closed at 10!). So we head to Chili's for a snack and a drink. Some men approached us at the bar and offered to buy us some shots:

We agreed. Turns out, an airforce base is located down the road... They bought us shots of Jager (I bet you guessed that by the photo)... One of the boys was shocked that I did not know how to "two step"... (some sort of country dance). So he began to teach me this sweet dance move... in the middle of Chili's. (He was in pajama pants and a t-shirt that read: Ra-tard.) It was pretty ridiculous. Then another one of the air force dudes got kicked out. It was last call and apparently he reached over the bar and tried to refill his own beer. After he was escorted outside he began knocking and pressing his face on the outside window trying to persuade us to come out side. It was still snowing. The night ended with me telling the third airforce guy, "May the airforce be with you". He replied "That's rude". Oh how I miss Clovis.

I'm sick of writing this... I will make a "part two" later...