Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tucson texts Long Beach

A completely normal text conversation between me and my sister:

Meagan: Tucson is hotter than bigfoot's balls.

Amanda: You would know

M: Only from reading your diaries

A: Which you actually ghost write for me

M: Based on your life story

A: Which I copied after seeing that documentary about you and bigfoot

M: Which I only acted in because I knew you were too shameful to go through that again

A: Which is the story we swore to always tell after you had bigfoot's baby and are keeping in your closet

M: Yes the child that you had asked me please please to be the surrogate mother for because you didn't want jon to know of the bigfoot affair

A: Right, the surrogate/affair situation we concocted and convinced you of through intense long-term hypnotherapy. Weird that you still remember his balls tho

M: You've created something so elaborate. Oh if only you hadn't done all that acid in the woods, when you met bigfoot, you'd remember the truth.

A: I do remember when you were eating all those shrums and running away with bigfoot you kept telling me I was "trippin" ... Sad, really

M: I only ate the shrooms to escape the last image I had of you taking bigfoot's hand and singing reunited with him

A: I can totally imagine you wanting to take the edge off your paranoid schizophrenic hallucinations that include visualizing yourself 3rd person, looking like me...

ten minutes later...
A: I have to study for my sociology final, bigfoot lover

1 comment: