So you think you can text?

Speaking of text message hilarity, which, really, is a form of comedy all its own. It's like the only thing where you can be cracking up like crazy one minute, then totally silent for five minutes and live your life as normal (pay for groceries, continue in another completely unrelated conversation, talk to a blind guy) as you wait for the next response and then you die again. It's like the perfect way to augment fun times. It's tantric humor.

Anyway, speaking of...

Manda: We are watching Melissa [old friend] on TV!!! So you think you can dance is such a good show!

Me: So does she think she can dance?

Manda: I'm gonna be on does your mom think you can dance? everybody wins!!!
Manda: What if the show was not about how good you dance but how much you THINK you can dance?
'So you think you can dance?'
'I think so.'
'I mean, really?'
'Well, yeah, I mean, I really think I can dance.'
'I'm sorry, you just are not making us believe you really think you can dance.'

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Manda: It's like they just give speeches...convincing arguments about how much they think they can dance
Manda: I SWEAR I THINK I CAN DANCE? how much do you think you think you think you can dance? A LOT.

Meanwhile I was texting the ex-husband about cell phone plans in the afterlife. Ten cents a call to family and designated chosen ones (ie. ex-lovers and people you want to haunt - aren't those the same thing?), and unlimited texts. He asked "who's your provider?"

"Turns out I was wrong, and Jesus has always been my soul provider."

?!?!?!??!