Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Roommates=best mates

G'Day mates-
No blogs since Aug!? Slackerness... Today I will blog about my roommates because sometimes you need to vent... other times you need to laugh. Hardy har har.

Roommate #1: Liisa
Liisa (the two eyes in her name is not a typo, nor are the double set on her face) is from Finland, although often she does not Finish putting things back in there places. Get it? Liisa sometimes enjoys alcoholic beverages. Drinking= finding things misplaced. For instance: shoes in the refrigerator, olive oil in the bathroom, and open humus dip container on my sister's brand new, wedding gift, grillion dollar, bedspread. She denies that this happens.
Liisa also has an absence of "stranger danger". She befriends people of all walks of life while intoxicated... This can be dangerous. One time she invited some men into our hotel room in LA. They identified themselves as Taliban. I am not fooling around. We had private security stationed outside our suite the rest of our trip. Yikes

Roommate #2: Hazel
Hazel also drinks often... This week we were at a bar and I squeezed a random man's bottom. When he turned around, I pointed at Hazel and made a "yikes" face indicating it was her. They have a date next week. Matchmaker Molly.
Hazel also likes to befriend people (although she does not bring them home). We often go to Mr. Pizza Mans for late night snacks. Hazel in a drunken haze gave her number to the pizza store employee. His name happens to be Carlos Santana. Not THE Carlos Santana, although he frequently leaves her voicemails serenading her while playing guitar. This is a hilarious coincidence.

More to come later...

My life rules. It would be better if Meagan was here.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

egad

OH WHEW. For a second I thought I'd come on here last night and posted some serious stupid shit on Ambien. I imagined the whole thing.

Do you know anyone who sings? My bassist quit and took his girlfriend/lead singer with him and now we've gotta find a singer. Hooray for total bullshit.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Lost without you...

For all you Lost fans:

I recently wrote an essay for my Classical Mythology class. I compared Desmond Hume from Lost to Odysseus from Homer's classic The Odyssey. I got a 97% on it and I even snuck in a few jokes. Check it out if you are so inclined:

Hero: It's more than a sandwich!

by Molly Torrence

Imagine being stuck on an island for year after year unable to return to your loved ones. As the years pass you experience an incessant inner conflict. This internal battle challenges your reason for living. Should I take my own life, or press on? Both Homer's classic tale, Odyssey, and ABC's hit television show, Lost, share similar "return home stories". Odysseus protagonist from the Odyssey, is a strategist who relies on his wit, a leader who commands troops, and a true hero in the eyes of the ancient Greeks. Desmond Hume, a character in Lost, is a man who stays true to his heart, fights for honor, and "will do anything for love" (Meatloaf, Bat out of Hell: II). The two characters were written 2,500 years apart but their separate journeys share parallel tribulations.

The Odyssey was written in antiquity and shows Odysseus as an epic hero in accordance with the heroic notion in ancient Greek society. Lost has a contemporary take on heroism. Desmond Hume achieves hero status through means that were similar as well as different from those of Odysseus. Though many centuries separate them, both share heroic qualities such as a capacity for love, and the pain one encounters on his respective journey. Love and pain are timeless qualities. While Desmond Hume is portrayed as a modern day hero, he also has a history of cowardice. Eventually he is able to achieve hero status by his quest for honor.

Residing on an island in the sun may sound appealing to some. However, Odysseus' and Desmond's experiences could not be described as a holiday. Odysseus languished on an island, detained against his will by a nymph named Calypso. There was no way for him to get back to his land (Odyssey, Book 5, 15-17). He was stuck on this island with Calypso for seven years spending most of his time longing to return to his family in Ithaca. Odysseus said, "I want to go back. My heart aches for the day I return to my home" (Odyssey, Book 5, 219-220). There is an analogous relationship between Odysseus' and Desmond Hume's characters. In the episode "Live Together, Die Alone" on season two of Lost, Desmond becomes shipwrecked on an island while racing his boat around the world. He is rescued by a man named Calvin in a yellow quarantine jumpsuit. Desmond is taken to an underground science lab (hatch) where he has to push a button every 108 minutes to "save the world". He is forced to do this for three years with no hope of returning to his home and loved ones. Both characters experience tremendous suffering (which is an ancient Greek Heroic trait) because they are confined to an island with no way out and no end in sight.

Another parallel calamity that both Odysseus and Desmond share are that both characters find themselves astray multiple times. In the Odyssey, Odysseus comes to the island of Aeolia and is given a gift bag from Aeolus, "In this bag he bound the wild winds' ways" (Odyssey, Book 10, 26). With the unruly winds contained Odysseus could sail home safely. The plan is sabotaged when Odysseus' men peek into the bag while he sleeps and let the winds escape. This leads their ship to drift back to Aeolia, far from their homeland in Ithaca. I think Odysseus experiences tension between two conflicting ideals (another heroic trait in antiquity). To chose death or mortal life. Odysseus states, "When I woke up and saw what had happened I thought long and hard about whether I should just go over the side and end it all in the sea, or endure in silence and remain among the living. In the end I decided to bear it and live" (Odyssey, Book 10, 56-60). The television series Lost portrays the same heroic trait.

Desmond has the conflicting choice between living or drinking himself to death. After three years in the “hatch” he stumbles upon several plane crash victims on the deserted island. He convinces one of these survivors to press the button in his stead. This enabled Desmond to escape. He sails for Fiji, and after two and a half weeks he finds himself on the same island he was trying to flee. Where upon he is confronted by plane crash survivor Jack who asked him why he had returned. Desmond replied, "You think I did it on purpose?... You know why? Because this is all there is left. This ocean and this place here, we are stuck in a bloody snow globe. There's no outside wall, there's no escape. So just go away and let me drink" (Lost, Season Two, Episode 23). Later in the episode he is holding a gun contemplating suicide. Like Odysseus, he chooses life.

An obvious connection between the heroic Odysseus and Desmond is their capacity for love. The hero's main squeeze in both of the tales share the same name, Penelope. In Odysseus' case, he rejects the divine Calypso's offer to stay with her and occupy the island. She promises to reward him with immortality. In an attempt to persuade Odysseus, Calypso says, "Think of it, Odysseus!- No matter how much you miss your wife and wanted to see her again. You spend all your daylight hours yearning for her. I don't mind saying she's not my equal in beauty, no matter how you measure it." Odysseus responds to her rhetoric with, "I know very well that Penelope, for all her virtues, would pale beside you... Still I want to go back. My heart aches for the day I return to my home" (Odyssey, Book 5, 208-220). Odysseus' love for Penelope thrives although he has been away from his wife for 17 years. Like the ancient Greeks, modern day society values the capacity for love as a staple heroic trait.

Desmond enters a sail boat race around the world that is sponsored by Penelope's father, Charles Widmore. He is trying to attain honor through victory in this race. Attainment of this honor is to be had via competition. This is the same as the ancient Greek notion of honor. If he wins, he will appear favorable to Penny's father. Desmond encounters a boat owner named Elizabeth in a coffee shop. When Elizabeth asks why Desmond wants to go on this trip he responds, "He (Charles Widmore) tried to buy me off and when I didn't take his money, he took away the only thing in the world that I ever truly cared about." Elizabeth asks, "Who is she?" Despond replies. "His daughter. I was unsuitable on several levels." Elizabeth is moved by his story and agrees to give him her deceased husband's boat. Desmond thanks her with, "I shall win this race for love" (Lost, Season 2, Episode 24). Throughout the television series, Desmond's main focus is getting home to his great love, Penelope. This shows the modern value of love and sacrifices one would make to achieve it. The capacity for love is a virtuous heroic trait that has lasted throughout history

Given the sheer volume of the Lost catalog (approximately one hundred and twenty hours) it would be impossible to highlight all the similarities and differences between Odysseus and Desmond Hume in one essay. I think the best example of a heroic quality (according to the ancient Greeks) that Desmond lacks is the "one bad ass warrior" trait. Odysseus attained this through his wit and skill in battle and not necessarily through super human feats of strength. For instance, Odysseus defeats a Cyclopes through witty wordplay. The Cyclopes, Polyphemus, traps Odysseus and his crew in a cave and consumes several of them. Odysseus strikes up a conversation with Polyphemus. When asked his name, Odysseus deceitfully tells him it's "Noman." Odysseus blinds the cannibalistic Cyclopes for eating his shipmates. Other Cyclopes in town hear screams coming from the cave and come to rescue Polyphemus. They call out to him asking if he needs assistance. Polyphemus cries, "Noman is killing me by some kind of trick!" The other Cyclopes respond, "If no man is hurting you, then your sickness comes from Zeus and can't be helped" (Odyssey, Book 9, 407-410). The polar opposite example is Desmond's character. Before setting sail on the boat race, Desmond was dishonorably discharged from the Royal Army. Desmond represents a cowardly character in battle and warfare. Although he is not a skilled warrior, this does not change the fact that he is a respected hero on modern day television.

There has been a subtle shift in the characteristics of a hero from the ancient Greek times until today. Certain heroic traits are different than those in modern day. For example, in antiquity a hero was a warrior, someone of noble birth who often finds women to be temptresses. Although Odysseus longs to be with his wife Penelope, he acts unfaithfully several times in the story. On Lost, a contemporary television show, I think if Desmond had strayed from Penny on the show he would have been viewed unfavorably by modern day ethical standards. Resisting the temptation of infidelity would be a heroic ideal today. In ancient Greece, infidelity by males was acceptable. Whereas today this would be met with disapproval. This change shows that the bias toward men since Homer's time has greatly decreased. Further, male philanders are viewed negatively in modern society. In regards to divine lineage, Odysseus is related to the God Hermes. By contrast, Desmond's ancestry is not a factor in the story. He is your average Joe. Class and social standing was very important in ancient Greece. Conversely, western civilization embraces the ideal that egalitarian ideal that all men are created equal. I think the shifting definition of a hero arises from today's society which allows that any man can become a hero. We are taught to follow our dreams. For example, with perseverance and tenacity you can succeed. Modern day Americans embrace freedom as one of it's quintessential benefits. Self determination and the freedom to mold your own future is a cornerstone of contemporary society. This has changed dramatically since Homer wrote the Odyssey. Children of these modern times have more options and encouragement than was available in ancient Greek society.

Both Odysseus and Desmond return home safely. Desmond and Odysseus are reunited with their great loves. The heroes are of different eras and yet their stories are very similar. It is apparent that ethical changes have been made since the time of the ancient Greeks. While most of Odysseus' heroic qualities still compare well with today's value system, they were limited. By contrast Desmond Hume in Lost is a current hero of the common man. Considering an island getaway? Channel these two great characters and have an adventure.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Mash potatoes

Current text convo with Meagan:

Meagan: I'm at a fucking ska show. Hahaha fart noise

Molly: Pfffft. Pick it up

Meagan: Pbblttt two-tone bullshit

Molly: Fuck that noise

Meagan: If it was physically possible, I would. And not give it cab fare. I would straight disrespect it and send it packin

Molly: Hahahaha that is soo amazing. That's why I love you

Meagan: INDEED! I just realized that if I got married again I want all my friends' bands to play it instead of anything else. Party city!

Molly: Haha can I sing something?

Meagan: Yes! Especially if I get married not in december, You can sing any Christmas song you like

Molly: Hahaha yes! Or a spooky Halloween song

Meagan: Yes!

Molly: Monster Mash maybe? I could break it down and do a remix. Bicky Bicky

Meagan: God yes. That's fucking perfect.

Molly: They did the mash. Break it down

Meagan: They did the Monster Mash. Break it. Break it. It was a big ol' bash.

Molly: Graveyard sm sm sm sm sm smassshhh

Meagan: Hahahaha

Molly: I can bust a move I promise you.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tucson texts Long Beach

A completely normal text conversation between me and my sister:

Meagan: Tucson is hotter than bigfoot's balls.

Amanda: You would know

M: Only from reading your diaries

A: Which you actually ghost write for me

M: Based on your life story

A: Which I copied after seeing that documentary about you and bigfoot

M: Which I only acted in because I knew you were too shameful to go through that again

A: Which is the story we swore to always tell after you had bigfoot's baby and are keeping in your closet

M: Yes the child that you had asked me please please to be the surrogate mother for because you didn't want jon to know of the bigfoot affair

A: Right, the surrogate/affair situation we concocted and convinced you of through intense long-term hypnotherapy. Weird that you still remember his balls tho

M: You've created something so elaborate. Oh if only you hadn't done all that acid in the woods, when you met bigfoot, you'd remember the truth.

A: I do remember when you were eating all those shrums and running away with bigfoot you kept telling me I was "trippin" ... Sad, really

M: I only ate the shrooms to escape the last image I had of you taking bigfoot's hand and singing reunited with him

A: I can totally imagine you wanting to take the edge off your paranoid schizophrenic hallucinations that include visualizing yourself 3rd person, looking like me...

ten minutes later...
A: I have to study for my sociology final, bigfoot lover

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Blogging Molly

First things first... I am in southern Ca and Meagan is not. That is a big ol' FAIL!

With that said... I drove down to see my family this weekend for my grandma's 86th birthday. My sister and her fiance (Leigh) are also in town. These are the weekend highlights:

Day 1: Kim, Leigh and I had some drinks while we waited for my folks to get home. We planned on creating a dance routine for my grandma's birthday (inspired by a Cosby Show episode) but we were sidetrack by this addictive urban twist on the electric slide called the cupid shuffle. My mom came home and we poured her some wine and taught her the cupid shuffle. Leigh video taped us while we embarrassed ourselves. Dad got home late from his softball game. When he arrived home we sat him down in the living room and proceeded to do a family dance for him (drink in hand). What!? This is not normal family behavior.
Things began to get a bit weird. Just as the alcohol began to impair our judgement, karaoke was mentioned. We discovered that the neighborhood mexican restaurant/bar had karaoke! We immediately headed over. The bar was filled with young drunk folks singing Kid Rock songs. Fast forward a few drinks later... my entire family was on the stage performing "Date Rape" by sublime. Really!? Yeah... it was crazy. Mom, Dad, Leigh, Kim, me, and some strange dude we met at the bar... all sharing the stage to sing the controversial song. (this was after my sister's future husband did a surprise performance of "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart). I was given a bouquet of flowers at the bar from a "secret admirer" who was supposed to reveal himself later... He never did. We used a rose to give to a lady that did an exceptionally good performances of a Scorpions song.

Day 2: Grandma decides she wants to go to the Indian Casino for her birthday. (Meagan, I looked for the antique roadshow slot to play for you... but I could not find one) The funniest part of the day was when Leigh, Kim and I decided to play blackjack. We selected a table that was empty. After we sit down, we noticed our blackjack dealer was CRYING!!! She was sniffling and wiping her eyes. Awkwarddddd. We didn't want to get up and leave because it would be rude. Leigh tried to cheer her up. When he would ask her a question, she would reply with a sad sniffle voice and pouty face. To make matters worse/awesome all three of us won money from her.



It is now day 3... Nothing crazy has happened yet but I still have another hour before I head home.
Miss you, Meagan!

Oh and I forgot to add that my sister invited Obama to her wedding... He cannot make it but he sent a card wishing them their best from him and Michelle.