Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Molly Cassy

Well hello again...  I got home yesterday from a crazzzy weekend in Alabama...  One of the best weekends I've had in a looong time.  I stayed in Oxford, AL at my pal John Byrd's house...  We got in Thursday night and we were supposed to go to bed early because we had to be at the track in Talladega to work at Nascar at 6am.  That did not happen, we stayed up all night jumping on trampolines and playing basketball...  Yes, some alcohol was involved...  I am going to buy myself a trampoline, I forgot how much fun it is to jump up and down!

Nascar was interesting...  We had to stand in front of a green screen from 7am-4pm in checkered outfits and take pictures with Nascar fans.  The pictures were printed and framed and given to the fans on spot and it was freeee!  I probably took around 5,000 picture with people this weekend.  My cheeks still hurt from smiling, along with my back from arching and my stomach from sucking in... Fun fun fun.  I made jokes that we were taking racy photos...  Get it?  Car racing?  haha bad joke

Friday night we went to a Highland Fling themed party at John's neighbors house...  John's sister's band The Bridges played in the backyard (they are awesome check em out) and Cassy ate 500 creme puffs.  There was a Keg of Stella...  so I got pretty intoxicated and some of the adults tried to hook me up with their sons.  

That's one of the adults, not one of the sons...

By day 2 at Nascar, Cassy and I were sleep deprived and hung over...  That is not good when you have to deal with sweaty red necks all day...  That night Dr. Dog, a band that my bff Meagan introduced me to, was playing in Birmingham!  They are even better live!  I am still amazed... Great fucking band...

Day 3 was exhausting...  3 days of standing on high heels all day definitely takes a toll... Especially when you don't get enough sleep...  Cassy was cranky by the last day and it was really funny.  I love her.  We got off at 1pm on Sunday and drove the 2 hours back to Atlanta.

When I got home my pal Alex and I hung out by the pool, made orange chicken, and then got into onesies...  We went to the fancy part of town, Buckhead, to play bingo at a Mexican restaurant.  It was pretty funny to play bingo in a onesie...  Can't wait til I'm an old lady and I get to do that every day!  I won $5 and a free shot...  Not bad, I'm pretty good at bingo... what!?

Meagan... THIS is what you are missing!  We could be having fun like this together allllll the time!  That it why I am posting my story...  Perhaps it will persuade you to come live with me this summer...

I miss you!

-Molly

1-800-222-2222

Accidentes!

That's the number you call when you are involved in an accident, speak Spanish, and need an attorney...in Southern California. Easy to remember, no?

So, I didn't call that number after we flippity flopped down a canyon in Utah last Wednesday, no, because I didn't have my phone for a whopping 24 hours. (That's a really long time when your life consists of your phone, i.e. texting and playing virtual Texas Hold 'Em)

I know this: the road went one way, the van went several ways, avoided certain death over the edge, then launched into the v-shaped ditch median, then shot out into on-coming traffic, then tipped over onto the driver's side perpendicular to traffic, shattering glass and dragging along for a solid twenty or so feet. Not too long, but long enough. No one was hurt, aside from a couple gashes in my elbow, which really was nothing. For five out of six people not wearing seatbelts, I'd say we should be punched in the face for that good fortune.

I have run out of Percoset. Sadness. Sutures out this Friday hopefully. Woo! I can get back to waving my arms about maniacally.

At least Isaac The Paramedic was sexy-towne to the max. I was afraid I'd lost you, Molly, for a split second I really didn't know which way it was gonna go. So I say, I love you, and I'm glad I'm not dead.

What a fortunate douche!

So I decided to quit drinking for a couple weeks...  Should be fun... right!?  No???  Just a little break...

I work in Talladega at Nascar this coming weekend...  I am getting paid to wear a checkered dress and take photos with people...  My life is weird...  I thought I escaped checkers when I left the ska scene hahaha

Oh hey Meagan, you may appreciate this...  My pal Alex and I decided to use the word fortunate instead of lucky from now on...  Like "hey wanna go back to my place and we can get fortunate?!"  Haha it's pretty funny...  We also came up with this idea called: follow that douche...  We were sitting at a restaurant (Flip burger, sooo fucking good!) and we saw this dude with wrap around sunglasses and a sunburned face who looked like the ultimate douche bag...  So I'm like, "I wonder what that guy does in his day...  Wouldn't it be funny to just follow him and see where he goes?"  Alex said we should make a twitter for it and update as we are following him and upload photos of what he is doing...  Stalker/creepy but soooo funny...  We could do a different douche every week...  What if someone was following you for an afternoon and taking pics and posting it online and everyone could see it???  Ahhhh!   I think it could be HUGE (and probably totally illegal).  Anyways...  That's all I have to report for now...  Time to read books and geek out on music...  xoxo

Molly

Brewer-me

Today is a happy day.  I get to tour three Ft. Collins breweries with friends.  I don't think any additional words are required to exhibit my joy.  Good Coloradoan beer prefaced by a thick-ass lunch of some sort.  Hot damn.

The boys are asleep, all of them.  If you were here, Molly, we would be pranking the shit out of everything they own.  Alone, I cannot find the inspiration to do it.  Le sigh.

My ride's here!  Drunk time o'clock!

Barbara Q.

I am having a BBQ by the pool tomorrow...  Only problem...  I don't know how to fire up a grill...  I bet Meagan would know how to do that.  She is good with things like that.  I bet she could even fix cars if she really wanted to.  That's cool

You are my sunshine

...which I could really go for now.  It is COLD here.

Molly, you are the funniest thing alive.  Your business sense is unmatched - buying stock in Ralphs because you buy so many snacks there?!  GENIUS!  

Okay so the other day, I took a long walk in the Ft. Collins town, and stopped off at this cemetery near our studio.  I was just walkin' around, looking down at my phone (texting you), and when I looked up, the most epic sight ever struck me.  Directly ahead was a gloriously modest statue, surrounded by headstones of various size and color, but all slightly symmetrical to the statue on all sides, right?  And on both sides of a headstone sitting directly in front of the statue, stood two adult deer, both facing outward with their heads upright, erect, and turned in my direction.  All of this was backlit by the setting sun, so its light was hitting the fur of the animals, outlining them in gold.  It was SO DAMN AWESOME.  I wish my camera phone took better pictures because my textual description is just not enough.

I thought the deer were FAKE, cuz they were so erect and still and AWESOME looking.  I thought they were a memorial to someone, until after looking back down at my phone and up again, they had turned and started moving away.  So I kept walking.  A few minutes later, I turned a corner and NINE big deer were all there, grazing, some staring at me, some eating.  One started coming my way and I really didn't feel like getting a headbutt to the stomach, so I snapped pictures and left. 

IT WAS NEAT.

Snack Attack!!!

There is nothing about California I miss... except MEAGAN!  UGH!  Last night my pal Lindsay came over and we sat around, drank, and chatted...  It reminded me of my hangouts with Meagan...  We always had so much fun hanging out on my couch and doing nothing but get fucked up and talk...  Maybe a walk to Ralphs for snacks...  I bought stock in Ralphs because I bought so many fucking snacks there!!!  There is no point to this post... except that I miss Meagan and I love snacks. 

-Molly